Parental blues & renovation joys

Posted by on May 22, 2009

Let’s start with the good stuff. Our renovations are officially completed. The electrical was done this week and we got the light bulbs we needed installed and Aliant was by today to get the internet and phones hooked up in that room. They are now ready to be swept/mopped and have stuff moved in. I am anxious. It will now be about a month or so before we consider what we want to do about a new baby barn.

We basically have put in an order for a new cottage. Talked to the contractor and he actually uses a garage design modified to create a cottage. It will be a 24×24 cottage located on the existing lot we have down in Pointe du Chene. Here’s a basic look at the design but we’re not going to have a garage door and we’ll just do regular windows on each side, plus an extra one in the front and one in the bathroom. We’re also going to take the fridge and stove from the cottage and get rid of it, put ours from the house down at the cottage, and get ourselves a brand new one for the house. 🙂 Reno’s are great. We just need to finalize the money stuff and get crap moved out before they demolish the old one. Need to find me a sledgehammer to have some fun 🙂

Now on to the more challenging things of recent times. I have begun to experience the stress of having two children in the house. Having Dylan around was a little tiring at first with him getting up and in the middle of the night for feedings but Tamara was breast feeding so she basically did everything. She’s continuing that same pattern with Megan, but now with Dylan, we have an additional challenge.

The challenge is that Dylan has spent the last 20 months being the only kid in the house and now that Megan is here, our time is being divided between the kids. And since he’s not accustomed to that, he’s taking his frustrations out in many different forms.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been so frustrated by the fact that me and D are fine on our own but when Tamara is around, he can and does throw fits when he sees her with him. The almost constant barrage of screaming and yelling coming from him definitely takes a toll on the soul. I know this will pass but it is definitely tiring.

The other thing that is bothering me is much harder to describe without sounding extremely selfish or egotistical. If you have more than one child, and you’ve lived through living with your spouse during the raising of your two kids, then you might know what I am talking about. I’m referring to that feeling that all energy and focus of your time, and your spouse’s time, is now solely pointed at your children. The fact that it “seems” like everything you do is either for or about your kids.

— Interruption —

As I write this post Tamara is “trying” to give Dylan a bath but he is SCREAMING very loud and mad because mommy wouldn’t let him have his soother outside of his crib. The perils of curbing habits from your kids.

— End Interruption —

I say “seems” because it isn’t but it is. I wake up in the morning and either Dylan or Megan are here and need fed, changed, dressed, or whatever. If Dylan doesn’t go to the sitter, between me and Tamara, it’s a constant need to keep him busy. Toddlers need to be busy.

By the time he goes to bed, it’s after 7, then typically Megan needs fed or something else. By the time they are both sleeping, it’s 9pm and the day is over.

The other problem is that Dylan is very attached to Tamara so it seems that everything Dylan needs, and everything Megan needs, they get from their mom. It sort of leaves me out in the cold feeling somewhat useless.

I know this is NOT the case as there are things that I do that contribute but the lack of time for “me and Tamara” versus what we had before is difficult. We’re trying to find time to do things without the kids but sometimes it would be nice to just have the house to ourselves. Well, the kids will be in college in 20 years. 🙂

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy, just learning to cope with life’s changes. I know there’ll be hard times during some of these periods but I also know there are incredible rewards. I had a great day with Dylan today which sort of made up for the last few days where it’s been bad.

What am I always saying about balance? Sometimes the scales are tipped way too far in one direction but they always come back. Just take a deep breath and remember that Matt.

Tonite, me and Tamara are off to a bonfire, then some music at Cheers, then come home and enjoy whatever night we have left before the baby needs fed. Man, I’m glad I’m not working 🙂

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