It’s Friday morning. It’s a slow day today so I’ve had some time to ponder. Actually, I’ve been pondering a lot of things lately. Life is certainly an interesting piece of artwork. I call it artwork because it is truly unique and sometimes can be quite beautiful, and other times can be quite horrid to look at. Today is a day of reflection, and pondering of the future. Something I’ve been doing a lot of lately.
What to do with one’s life. This is a question that comes at a person on a regular basis. Eventually, you get to the point where you start to sit and analyze where you are in your life, and try to figure out exactly what it is you really want. Are you happy where you are? Do you like your job? Are you going anywhere? Do you have any real long-term goals in mind? I may only be 29 years old, but the truth is, I’m thinking about these things now. And I see a road ahead that has some real good things and some real bad things.
Let’s look at my situation. It was almost a year ago that I moved back into my mom’s. At 29, yeah it’s a bit embarrassing to be living at home, but I have a goal in mind in what I’m trying to accomplish. I want to reduce my debt. I realized very early on that by staying with mom for a year or two, I could be debt free very fast. My past marriage left me with a large pile of debt and now I’m having to pay that back. I earn a good pay so if I stayed with mom, I could be completely debt free within a year or so. That’s extremely exciting to think about. I mean, with student loans, and credit debt, most people out there know what it’s like. Just for a moment imagine if you had no debt of any kind, how that would feel? For me, that goal is very attainable. I also see the fact that if I stayed here a bit longer, I could save a very large sum of money within a year or so, and be able to buy myself the house I want. I have some very good ideas about what kind of place I want to live in, and if I stay here for say 2-3 years, I could buy a new house, and buy all new furnishings, and the whole anchilatta, and just have my car & mortgage for debt. That’s a damn exciting possibility. But, then there’s drawbacks.
The fact is, once you move back in with your folks, you slowly get a little lazy. Anyone who has ever lived on their own and then moved back in with their folks knows what I mean. There’s a lot of stuff that you don’t have to do and you can kind of just enjoy it. The only problem is that you sort of get stuck in this rut.
Another rut that I have become tangled in is my social life. Yes I have friends, but typically I don’t go out much, and I think it’s because there’s this sense of hesitation. I’m not much of a bar person, and I’m not really sure what kinds of places I’d want to go, so instead of trying to just go out and DO it, I stay home, or go for a drive. When I do go out with friends, or even just hang out somewhere, I enjoy it. But when I sit and look at the road ahead, I could seriously see myself sitting at home, watching TV, and doing very little, a lot more. That is VERY unhealthy.
So how do you fix that? Force yourself to make a major change. Change is never easy. It’s not black and white. I’ve seen some people who seem to think it is, but it isn’t. If I were to throw myself into a completely different scenario, it would force me to do a lot of the things I’m hesitant to do now. Over the last few months, I’ve pondered the idea of moving to Edmonton, Alberta to live with my dad for awhile. It would be a simple move. A somewhat familiar area, and it would really force me to make some major changes in the way I live. It would give me more opportunities, and just a lot of other things that I don’t think I can find here in Moncton. But do I really want to leave what I do have here?
Hence today’s rant headline. What to do… I see both good and bad in either choice. I can stay in Moncton and force myself to stick to my plan and save the money up, pay off the debt, and buy my house. If it takes a few years, so what. It’s an attainable goal at this point. I just need to deal with the downsides of my situations in Moncton. Maybe there’s a way to make a major change here. Or, I can say fuck it, and pack all my stuff up and head out west. People do it all the time. It would be new, exciting, and I do have friends and people I know out that way so I wouldn’t be alone. It’s not like New York was at first.
I’m sort of in a quandary. I guess the fact that Moncton is so comfortable, and I pretty much have a guaranteed future here, all contributes to me wanting to stay here. Comfortable is good, but change can also be good. So what do I do?
So there. I’ve had my say.
