So recently, my friend Roy Hanna came back to Moncton for a quick visit. He had not been back to Moncton in 10 years so a lot of things have changed in that period of time. It really got me to thinking about what has transpired in my life within the last 10 years. It also got me to thinking about how ?growing up? and moving on in life truly makes things a lot different for people.
10 Years ago, it would have been 1994. In 1994, I had finished going to school in Saint John, and by this time, would have taken the pizza delivery job with Greco to earn a little bit of money while I looked for a computer job. Weird how that turned into a 3 year job and a whole lot more.
But the bigger thing that was going on in 1994 was where I was in my life, and who was in my life. At that time, I was huge into the Moncton music scene. VAJ & Six Feet Under were doing quite well. I was starting to really enjoy doing shows and having a lot of fun with it. But above all of that, there was the crowds of people I knew and the countless nights of people hanging out in Bob?s Room doing very little, and having a lot of fun.
It seemed like there was always people around and always different things going on and hanging out with all of these different people. If I sat down and thought hard enough, I could probably think of all the people I spent my time with during that period of my life and the list would probably be quite long. The thing I find interesting, is I don?t talk to most of those people anymore. The large crowds are gone. The nights of hanging out in the basement are gone. The days of lack of responsibility are behind me.
Roy came over and we talked about a lot of stuff but one of the biggest things that we talked about was where ?everyone? was. He mentioned name after name and I kept thinking about where these people were and what they were doing now. People that I talked to almost every week 10 years ago, I haven?t spoken to in at least 5, for some of them anyway. We all just sort of drifted away?.
How does that happen? How is it that such a tight-knit circle of friends just seemed to spread out to the point of barely speaking anymore. I haven?t talked to Heather Harvey in ages. Even Jason & J.C. are guys I don?t see that often. People that I?d talk to everyday, seem to have slipped between the cracks and aren?t part of the daily, or hell, even monthly activities much anymore. Cheez. Chris. Roy. Shawna. Trisha. Alex. Dave. Andrea. Where are they now? How did it happen? Some I know, some I don?t.
I ask these questions because when Roy asked about a lot of these people, I think he expected more people to be around than what was here. I think he felt a little bored and almost out of place. To come back to a city where you were such an active person, and see very few of the people you remember, probably makes you scratch your head a little bit and wonder.
Fact is, life moves on. Cheez moved to Calgary and has a job and loves it out there. Andrea?s in Ottawa, living the big city life with the boyfriend and dogs. Roy?s in Alberta. Alex is around town. Everyone just grew up and part of that natural growth is the evolution of friendship.
When you?re younger, friends are pretty much all of the people you hang out with on a regular basis, and people you know. As you get older, most of those friends become acquaintances, and then eventually, just people you used to know. Some of those people will always remain my friends. Jason & J.C. for example. I don?t see them that often, but I?d still consider them my friends. Ben is probably my closest friend as he?s remained a good friend since high school and although I don?t see him often, I know he?s around and we still talk all the time. There?s other people I see around town and that I talk to. Alex does his band thing and I try to see him play when I can. I don?t see Ken that often but we keep in touch via email and this very website. It?s weird though. Some of the people that meant so much to me at one time, I either could care less about seeing, or just lost touch with. Shawna, for anyone that knew me 10 years ago, was an obsession. After 10 years, it?s funny to see the fact that I might talk to the woman once every 6 months, but don?t have a lot of time or reason to see her, and it don?t much matter to me. Or Heather. A good friend way back when who helped me deal with life?s issues, is someone I would love to sit down and have lunch with, but where is she now?
It?s not that people don?t want to see you or hang out anymore, but people grow up and move on and have lives of their own. When you?re younger, you have a lot less responsibility and don?t have to worry about jobs, and leases, and mortgages, and all of those things. You just have fun. You get a little bit older and then you start having kids, or have a big career and have to move somewhere. Just the natural progression of life. With me, a lot of things changed. Most of the people from those days have either moved away or just drifted, for no other reason, than the fact that life moves on.
It?s interesting for me though because I know for myself, there have been a few select moments in my life, where I truly knew that things were about to change. You don?t want them to change. But you know they are about to. The last night I had in Moncton before I moved to Saint John to start college, I went to visit J.C. and I remember coming home and being very sad because I knew that from that moment, life was about to change. My mom had always said that once you go to college and come back, friends are different and a lot of things change. It did. College had a huge affect on me and when I came back, things were still good, but life had changed. I had new focuses in life and wanted to do different things, and ultimately, that has led me to where I am today.
I guess with Roy being back for a few days, it got me to thinking about the old times. I am a very nostalgic person by nature. I love to tell stories about my past and experiences I have had. Not because I?m egotistical, but just because I like to share my life with different people. I think I get it from my grandfather who always told stories. Talking to Roy about where everybody is and what they have been up to makes you reflect on the past and really makes you appreciate what you had when it was there.
I like my life now. I have a lot of good things in it, but I do wish I could find a way to include more of my friends and people I know in it. There?s a lot of people I wish I saw more often, but sometimes you just can?t help it. But, I should do more to try and spend more time with my friends because without friends, life can be pretty boring and lonely. So to those of you out there who do read this and I don?t see you very often, it?s not that I don?t like you or don?t want to hang out with you or any of that. Believe me. To any of my friends and acquaintances who may have thought I stuck my nose up at them, don?t ever think that was the case. Sometimes, life just gets in the way.
So there, I?ve had my say!
