Mr. Nice Guy hangs in, lives happily ever after

In case I end up losing the copy of Metro Marquee, I wanted to have a copy of the letter I sent them that was published so I am putting a copy of it here for me. Read on if you’d like to see it yourself…

As published October 14, 2004 on page 14
Mr. Nice Guy hangs in, lives happily ever after

To the editor:

I’m a prime example of “Mr. Nice Guy”, and I can definitively say that we do finish last. (Doin’ It, Oct. 7/04).

I have gone my whole life trying to be as nice, kind, courteous, sweet, and all of those things that girls say they love. I have been their friend. I have let them cry on my shoulder. I have given advice. I have done all of the things that they say they want in a great boyfriend. And one by one, I have watched them all tell me, “I think we should be just friends”, “You’re like a brother to me”, “You’re so easy to talk to.” “Some girl is going to be so lucky to find you someday”, and every other reaction you can think of.

I have fallen in love with women who claim all they want is a guy to listen to them and treat them well. I have given them exactly what they wanted, and been sincere about it, and then systematically I have been turned down over and over again. I sat back and watched all of these beautiful, smart, and great women always go for the guy that I know is bad for them. The guy then treats them like crap and they say they deserve it, or they say that he’s really not that bad.

I think the problem is that most guys who know how to pick up a woman, know exactly what women are looking for, and how to “woo” them into thinking they are so great, and then when they have the woman, they let out their real personality. How many times have I heard a woman say, “He was such a nice guy when we first met.”?

Us nice guys will treat a woman with respect, cordiality, and always be there to let them vent , but we’re probably not the best ones to “woo” them.

The nice guys are everywhere. We treat women very well and the women out there who have found us, know it to be true. We just have incredibly bad luck finding a woman who clues in to the fact that we are such a great catch. I guess what it means is that if we finish last, we at least have gone through enough to be able to appreciate what we get, when it finally comes.

Myself, I have finally found someone who realizes that I’m a great “nice guy” and loves me as me, but I’ve had to go through countless of heartbreaks because I was always the good “friend” and not bad enough to be the “lover”. Nice guys do finish last, but we do eventually find someone who gets it.

Matthew Klem
Moncton, NB