Meant to be

This story was supposed to be posted on Friday, but since the excitement was so intense yesterday, Tamara said I could post today.

For anyone who knows me well knows that within the last few years, I really have become quite philosophical in my beliefs. I have become more and more convinced that everything going on in my life and for others as well is all part of something that is not so random. My life although may take its weird turns here and there is all happening and unfolding exactly the way it should be. For today?s post, I give you some very interesting insights into my own life, which have led me to where I am now. If you have been wondering what the ?news? is that I have been hinting at on and off for awhile now, this article tells you all. Or, you can be lazy and wait til tomorrow?s post where I put it up as a headline. Take your pick?

Everyone?s life has twists and turns and ups and downs and most of us just deal with them and move on. I don?t think a lot of us truly sit back and ponder how things have affected you over time. Even the smallest little things in your life can sometimes have the largest impact. More than fifteen years ago, I walked down Humphrey St with J.C. and we decided to go into Alexander Park even though there were girls there. One of those girls was Tamara Theriault, who would become, Tamara Klem. Had me and J.C. turned around, life today would be very different, perhaps.

When I think about major events in my life, there are some that stick out in a big bad way. My move from Edmonton Alberta to Moncton. This is perhaps the largest of them all. This move has so much affected my life that in many ways, it feels like I never even lived in Edmonton. Despite the fact that I lived there for more than 11 years, I still feel like it?s not even a part of my life. But none the less, if you consider the ramifications of how my life would have been different had I remained in Edmonton, the possible outcome is mind blowing. Had I remained there, I would have been raised by my dad. My dad, although a good hearted guy, is kind of messed up. No job, and no interest in having a job, anti-government, and almost anti-people, I would very likely have not gone too far in a career due to an influence from my father. I might have also rebelled and gone down a totally different direction. The fact that mom moved me here in 85 was painful at the time, but in retrospect, it was the best thing for me.

The meetings of Roy, Shawna, Chris, and the ?crew?. That whole meeting of minds and people really allowed me to break out of my shell. At least from my point of view. During junior high school and part of high school, I was somewhat reserved and not interested in just being myself. I always exerted some sort of alter-ego depending on who I was around. Friends saw one side of me, schoolmates saw another, and even my mom knew a different kid. Through events that transpired through that group of people I was able to really help mould myself into the person that I eventually became. Had I not had those experiences, I think I probably would have been much more reserved, not so interested in being around people, and much more reclusive than I ever was. Interestingly enough, I?ve sort of become that way anyway as I have gotten older but I suspect that?s a natural thing anyway. That part of me who became outgoing and not afraid to take chances was really spawned out of being involved with such a great group of friends.

One thing that does sort of stick out in my mind is all of the interesting and odd circumstances that have come together to allow me and Tamara to make a life for ourselves. Here are two people, who have known each other for years, but who only discovered each other within the last few and how now, we can?t even imagine life without each other. It begs to ask the question, why didn?t this happen earlier?

What some may not know is that I had a thing for Tamara years ago. Around the time I was in Saint John there was a little bit of a spark for me but it never happened. Why? It was a question I asked myself for a long time but looking back now, things are so crystal clear.

Say we had hooked up back then, we were both in our early 20?s and still not sure what we really wanted or where we would be going. Had things worked out into a serious relationship, we might not have ever been able to make it work in the long term. For both of us, I think it was vital that we went through the trials and tribulations of our first marriages to fully be able to understand what we needed and wanted.

For myself, I was totally clueless when I got married the first time and I paid for it. The anguish I put myself through was unbelievable but when the whole thing was over, I had a very clear understanding of what I wanted and what I needed and more importantly, what I didn?t want. Had I not experienced that, I would never have been able to be clear about what I needed. I think Tamara was very much the same thing. She had her own issues to deal with and through that, she learned what she wanted to avoid and what she really wanted. It?s interesting because whenever I talk about my career, I always get asked the question about why I left IBM. I left because I had an opportunity here, and my life situation then really needed me to come home. Had I not been in that situation, I may have remained there, and who knows where I would have ended up. Perhaps I would have moved into NYC and been there during 9/11. Maybe my career would have flopped or other worse things could have happened. It was obviously necessary for me to come back to Moncton so my life could happen here. Oddly enough, I feel strongly enough about my connection to Tamara that I think had I remained at IBM, I would have somehow ended up back home with her regardless. It was meant to be.

Even further beyond that, let?s look at more recent events. During my first marriage, I never wanted children. I always hated the idea of having kids with her and so when the topic came up, I tried to avoid it at all costs, and interestingly enough, kids never happened even though it was more than possible. Tamara has said that she was scared of having children during her first marriage and yet it never happened either? Why didn?t it? Wrong person? Wrong time? What?

Shortly after this year began, I lost my job. My future and my career were in jeopardy and I had no idea what was going to happen. Somehow though, I plowed through it and seemed to hit the jackpot at Whitehill. I love this job and although it?s slow to start, I know it?s going to be awesome. The work is great and the people are great and it?s like I was really meant to be here. I honestly believe that I lost my job at Compucollege so that I could find my job at Whitehill. I had my last pay from Compucollege on a Friday and the Monday after, I started work at Whitehill. It?s not coincidence.

Now that I am at Whitehill, not even a month into the job, I find out I?m going to be a father. After all of the possibilities, situations, and things that could have happened, to me, it seems now so more than ever, that everything happens for a reason.

Tamara didn?t get pregnant while I was at Norampac or Compucollege because it wasn?t time. The fact that this has happened now tells me that things are going the way they should be. When things are right, right things happen. When things are wrong, the wrong things happen, over and over again. In my life, I have seen instances of this over and over again, so it?s not hard to believe that this is indeed the way it should be.

When you consider all of the things that can happen during a persons lifetime, you really need to absorb everything and look at it as to how one thing can affect another. You can also see how one event triggers another event and causes you to do or think one thing or one way for one reason, which leads you to something else, etc.

With knowing that my son or daughter will be born this November, I?m really starting to think about how things come together and more and more I know that life right now is exactly the way it should be. Although, I do think that we should have won the lotto by now. I mean COME ON!!!!

So there. I?ve had my say.