What a day. We went over to Tamara’s mom’s place for lunch and chowed down some food while visiting. Not so bad but it was the first time seeing Taylor since we lost the baby and it wasn’t as bad as we expected. We then took a real long drive and then made it home where I have been hacking away at a weird text/binary programming problem which I am hoping the folks from Google groups can help me with. We’ll see.
Yesterday was a typical Saturday with one exception. I did some nasty screaming and destruction in the wood room. Tamara seems to be the one who is doing all the crying where as I have been more mad about the situation than anything. Yesterday I felt the anger building so when I got home, I took some wood into the wood room and proceeded to destroy, rather than chop, the wood. It ended up with me throwing several bar stools while screaming very loud and although I didx not break anything, I did feel better. I at least have a room like that where I can let my emotions go crazy. I then kicked back, had a Coke, and watched Matrix 2. Matrix 3 will be viewed shortly as I need more distraction.
I think that’s why I was doing work type stuff today. Nothing that needed to be done just problem solving type things. I even tried writing some C code to solve my issues but my C is very rusty and for now, I am going to let it ride and see what else I can figure out later on. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.
Tomorrow is the first full day back to work since the bad news about Kyle. In some ways, I am looking forward to it as I know I will need the distraction. There has been a lot of support many people but to be blunt, in many ways we kind of want to be left alone. We know people want to help but at the same time, we just don’t want to have to give explanations and talk about it constantly as we’re already having a hard enough time dealing with things. Thankfully, everyone has been very respectful and we are thankful for that.
With that said, I think I will retire to the basement. Tamara went out for a drive of her own which I think she needed. I know she’ll be off work for awhile so she’ll have plenty of her own down time but I think she needed some of that today. I’ll pop some popcorn, crack open a Coke, and enjoy my movie then later, pop a few Benedryl to make me sleepy and head to bed. God knows it will be a long day tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I know mine was rough.
