I decided that I was going to wait until I had a few minutes to spare before I sat down and wrote out this particular post. Mostly because I thought it would likely be a long post, and would have some both humourous and serious moments to it. So, if you are interested in a little story from my past, and what I did this past Sunday, read on.
Long before I made the trip to Livingston, NJ, I started looking at things I could do while I was here. Since it looked like there wasn’t much in the area, I figured I might saunter down to check out the Quik Stop or try and pop into New York City but I also was curious about one other thing. How far was Livingston from Poughkeepsie, NY.
For those of you who don’t know, there was a time when I actually was living down in the USA. From February 1999 – February 2000, I was employed by a contracting company and working onsite at IBM Global Services. It was a dream come true and for someone who was really just starting their IT career, it was an opportunity that could not be passed by. How often does a person who’s 6 months out of college get offered a job to work for IBM down in NY?
I only lived there for a year because after Christmas time, it became very apparent that at the time, there was a need, or rather a desire to return home. There were a lot of reasons for moving back to Moncton, but I was definitely not alone in the decision, and had I been on my own at that time, it is very likely I would have remained in Poughkeepsie (pronounced puh-kip-see) for at least another year, perhaps more. However, I made the decision and although I think it sucked at the time, I do believe it led me where I am today.
Since those days, I have found that my life has taken a turn for the better and I really cannot say that I’m not happy that my life turned out the way it has (so far anyway). I am also not someone who likes to say that he has any regrets. I like to think that I am the type of person who sees past mistakes and realizes that they were all a part of something that leads you to where you are now.
That having been said, I think I can say that my quitting my job at IBM was one of the hardest career decisions I ever made. I have quit other jobs and there have been risks associated with it, but this was IBM, and I was doing VERY well and had big prospects for the future, but I decided to come home. I do think that in some ways, quitting that job is a regret that I have had.
That’s not to say that I don’t love where I am at now because I love where I am now more than I ever loved where I was at that time in my life. And really, I would not be where I am now without having worked there. But still, having loved my job there so much, and knowing that I really had a huge possibility for a career there, quitting really hurt in many ways. I’m man enough to admit that when I walked out of building 52 of IBM Poughkeepsie, I went to my car, and I cried my eyes out. I was never so sad about leaving a place and a job behind as I was that afternoon.
In some ways, when I look back at that, it almost seems as if I was given the chance to jumpstart my career and really launch myself into something big, and then because I gave it up, I had all of this other crap I had to go through in order to get to something that was as good, if not better. I feel like my job at Whitehill is very much similar to what I had at IBM in that I feel it’s a career level job, and it is somewhere that I fit very well. Believe me, I won’t be quitting this one anytime soon.
Regardless, my time in Poughkeepsie was short, ultimately, I have a lot of memories of that year which were good memories, but I don’t have a lot of … keepsakes? Photos? Things like that. Unfortunately, the ex got most of that and God only knows where it ended up since then. We had a LOT of photos and pictures and things from those days and although I have some video, I never really got a lot of good pictures of some of the things that had real meaning to me. She had some memory book album which contained a lot of that stuff so I have no idea where that would have ended up and as most of you know, we’re not exactly on speaking terms these days.
So when I found out I would be near NY state, I queried Google maps and it told me I was about an hour’s drive from that area. Seeing as I had a car, I decided to make the haul there, visit some places I have good memories of, and snap a pile of photos.
I drove up there and literally just drove around. I had been there twice before since moving away. Once on a trip with the ex and her friend and brother. And once with Hosford. But, both of those instances saw me with a bunch of other people and just quickly talking about things. I didn’t get to let it sink in or really appreciate where I was and what I had experienced there.
I think for me, I knew that I had to go back, visit some of these places, and be there by myself in order for all of it to really sink in. I took pictures of where I used to live, places I used to go, where we paid the rent and thought the guy was a mobster, the riverfront, downtown where it looked insanely creepy at 1am, and a pile of other places that have no meaning to anyone else but me.
I wanted to be able to have something solid from a part of my life that although it had some bad things in it, I lived down there for a year, worked for IBM, and had a life there that I don’t have much from anymore and I felt like if I just snapped some pictures, and went down memory lane again, I might be able to help close that part of my life off. It’s not something that has remained open mind you, but just my own way of closure. It’s very hard to explain.
The last major stop I made while I was there was on highway 9, just off of Spackenkill Rd where you can plainly see the clock and IBM logo on building 10 of the plant. The gates are locked, and I had no access to the facility, but I was able to park my car, and slip into the parking lot to snap some shots of the main building. I would have liked to have snapped some of the building I worked in (#52) but that was way on the other side of the site and I’d likely get stopped by security. Standing there looking at the building, I couldn’t help but wonder where my life would have gone had I remained there.
It’s weird. Life really is like a large book with many chapters. Major events end one chapter and start a new one all at the same time. My life in Poughkeepsie really defined some major points along my road. It helped define part of my career as I’m able to truthfully place IBM on my resume, but it’s also a sore spot because I did leave there, and my time in Poughkeepsie contributed to the forever damaging of a very dear friendship. Those are things that I can’t change about the past, but I can remember the good things, and accept that this was a part of my life. I am very much someone who likes to keep major things in his life visible and aware because everything from your past, and your present, affects and influences your future. If you don’t remember, or acknowledge the things that you have gone through, you’ll never grow as a person, and you’ll always remain stale. By me snapping some photos, I can always remember what it was like to be there, and why I left, and how it lead me to where I am now.
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