I was doing some digging today and found this old story Mike O wrote for Issue #3 of VAJ. Thought I’d post it for your enjoyment.
When Tragedy Struck Home
It all started when I made a running, eight foot leap through the air(my ceiling is only seven feet) that I knew I was in for a dull night. Why was I leaping through the air you ask? Well that is what I was asking myself. Just kidding!, I always do that before I go to bed. I start running down stairs in the kitchen until I hit the hallway on the third floor(my house has five floors, but only three of them are used.) then when I’m just meters outside my bedroom I take a huge leap toward the door, fly into my room(My door is usually shut and locked from the inside) and land softly onto my bed.
Tonight was different, different in a same kind of unlike similar way. As soon as I snuggled into bed I heard a very quiet sound, but was ear piercing enough to wake the dead. This caused me to wake very slowly from my light sleep. As I looked toward the door screaming I forgot why I was screaming, then some weird looking man with a beard but no mustache reminded me so I started to scream again.
After a few hours(two to be exact)of non stop screaming I managed to get out of bed to see what the horrible noise was. For some reason I had all of my clothes on while sleeping. Since I was buck naked I threw on an orange and pink house coat.
After I finished doing up the zippers, belts, and snaps on my house coat I quickly crawled to the door and peered through the key hole. To my surprise and amazement there was another person on the other side of the door looking into the key hole directly at me.
I quickly moved aside so as not to be seen. I heard the intruder run downstairs into the kitchen. I walked out of my room with heavy footsteps then I stopped and took off the heavy footsteps because they made too much noise. As I slowly and cautiously ran down the stairs I noticed that I was wearing snow shoes and this made me fall all the way down three flights of stairs and roll out the door. I got up and ran back into my house to my telephone so I could call the police when all of a sudden I noticed that the phone didn’t work, all the numbers had been erased off the little square buttons. I was doomed. I ran outside again and hid behind the bush in my front yard. I waited for hours just watching the house to see what the intruder would do next. Nothing could be seen, so then I took off my sunglasses and then I could see perfectly.
This was it, I had to take a chance, I had to try and make it to the phone in my room. I put on my camouflage suit that I always keep behind the bush in my front yard. I stood up and counted to three then I ran furiously towards the front door. As I approached the door I suddenly remembered that the intruder had been constantly watching me from behind the front door. I ran right past him and up the stairs. I turned around and he was gone. I turned on all the lights, yup, he was gone alright, him and all of my worldly possessions.
The house was completely empty and I mean empty. There was no furniture, no stove, no chandeliers, nothing. Even the light bulbs had been stolen, along with the mouse trap, the mouse, and the hole in the wall where the mouse used to live. The weirdest things were stolen too, he stole my toilet, my carpet and even the dirt was carefully swept up and taken away.
This was simply too much for me to handle. I fell to me knees and put my hands on my head and gasped for air. All I managed to saw was “Oh well, tomorrow is another day”. I got up off the floor and ran upstairs thinking,”yeah, tomorrow really is another day”.I’ll just sleep in and use the neighbours telephone tomorrow morning to call the police.
I started my nightly leap towards my bedroom. As I flew into my room I realized that my bed was stolen also, so I landed ever so softly on the hard wood floor and fell asleep.
Oh yeah, although I’m Canadian I sang “The Star Spangled Banner” before going to sleep. I don’t know why, I guess I just know the words better.
