Last year, I started a little game that Tamara has been playing and she recently just finished it. Last night, we were talking about it and I learned something that was quite funny.
One of the things she had to do in this game was find out the name of the last fictional book I had read. Since she had virtually no way to find this out without asking me directly, she sent out one of those “get to know your friends” emails. Well, at the time, I just thought it was another one of those emails and I never bothered. Turns out, she made the whole thing up herself because there was one entry about the last book you read. VERY creative.
Regardless, I dug through my old emails today and found it. I figured I owed her an answer to it so I am posting my answer here. Click on to read the details.
What is your full name?
Matthew George Stephen Klem
Where and when were you born?
Dec. 11, 1973, in Edmonton, Alberta
Do you have any siblings?
No full ones. 2 half sisters, Janet & Adaya (not sure if that’s how you spell her name but I’ve never met her so who knows). 1 half brother Rob.
How close are you to your family?
Close enough. Talk to them once a week usually.
What is your occupation?
Product Consultant. I build solutions for law firms and insurance companies.
Are you right- or left-handed?
Right
What do you have in your pockets?
Cell phone & asthma puffer and a little lint.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Fireman & then a programmer (I was a geek at 7)
As an adult, what do you want to be when you grow up?
What I do right now. I love my job
When and with whom was your first kiss?
A girl named Shawna, I was 16 maybe?
Who was your first crush on?
A girl named Natalia in the 6th grade. She was the first real crush. Even back then, my best friend dated her when I was too chicken to.
Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
Nope. Lost it at 24 to a girl named Jessica. Although the opportunity came knocking more than once as a teenager, I turned it down til I figured I was ready. Man, did I ever miss out.
What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
Birth of my son, marriage to my wife, getting to where I am thus far in my career.
What is your greatest regret?
No a big fan of regrets, put probably getting married the first time.
When was the time you were the most frightened?
Well, jumping out of an airplane was scary, but I think when I went to Los Angeles by myself in 1997, I was approached by this man in a restaurant who was MUCH older than I was and was trying to convince me to give him my phone number and my hotel information so he could help “show me the town”. It spooked the hell out of me since I was not from the area, and it’s not like I could just go home. Very freaky.
If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
Hard to say. Parts of me would not have gotten married the first time, other parts would have stayed in the USA when I was living there, and the rest of me says I would leave my past as it is. I think I’d be happy leaving my past as it is as everything that has happened to me happened for a reason to get me where I am now.
What is your best memory?
Seeing my son shoot out of my wife’s uterus like a football and the doctor almost dropping him. I was in tears the whole time.
What is your worst memory?
8th grade. Although I had my first love in that grade, it was the only good thing about an otherwise awful year of being beaten up, made fun of, and generally harassed into tears almost every day. It was dreadful.
Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
Optimistic.
Do you have a spouse or significant other?
Yes. My wife, Tamara.
Have you started your own family?
Yup. A little guy named Dylan.
Do you have pets?
Yes, three cats: Lucky, Chloe, and Haylee, and a bunch of fish. We also have a little boy named Dylan but I don’t think I’m allowed to call him a pet 🙂
What is your greatest fear?
That I will not be able to provide for my family.
Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be
acceptable or unacceptable?
I would have no problem killing someone to protect my family from danger. Given the right situation, I could kill someone out of pure hate, but it would have to be VERY extreme.
In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
Force me to listen to country music. Aside from that, pretty much anything gross or mean with children.
Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
I never did til I met Tamara. Now I have proof that they exist.
Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
I tend to agree a lot but I stand up for my convictions if I feel I am being crossed.
What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
Geocaching, walking, movies, games, computers/internet, my wife.
What is your most treasured possession?
Aside from people in my life, my photos and videos from years past, a pocket watch from my grandfather, and the very first computer I ever used as a child.
What is your favorite color?
Blues all the way baby.
What is your favorite food?
Burgers, ribs, steak. Chips.
What, if anything, do you like to read?
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, Maxim, the newspaper.
What is the name of the last fictional novel you have read?
*snicker* Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
What is the title of your favorite book?
Chaling for Dummies
What place would you like to visit?
Australia, Egypt, & Tokyo
What is the strangest thing you ever did?
Wow. I could make a list of just this. Walked into Tim Horton’s in a bathrobe, moose slippers, and a badass wig would be one of them. Oh, and I did Samantha. That was pretty strange but fun at the same time.
What is the strangest food you ever ate?
Food? Calamari maybe? Weirdest thing I ever ate? A glade air freshner.
Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs?
None of the above. I’ve never had a drop of alcohol in all of my life.
How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
Vegging with the family, sometimes I go geocaching, hang with friends.
What makes you laugh?
A lot of things but mostly stupid humor like fart jokes, and over the top movies like Airplane & Team America.
What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to
amuse yourself?
Watch TV, surf the net for useless crap.
How do you deal with stress?
I chop wood, yell and scream, and kick things I shouldn’t.
Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
Both.
What are your pet peeves?
Slow drivers, idiot people at drive thrus, people who talk at the movie theatre, and people who don’t know how to board an aircraft.
Are you generally organized or messy?
Messy, and organized in some ways but not many
If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I would like to be out for a walk, and a piano fall out of the sky and land on me, killing me instantly, and definitely earning me a Darwin Award.
If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in
the time you had left.
I’d call all my family and let them know how much I love them. I’d walk around outside naked to just to get a reaction. I’d go into a restaurant and pay the bill for everyone in there on my credit card.
What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
For being a unique, fun guy who tried very hard to get along with everyone he knew.
