RIP Bob

Bob - 1989 - 2009

The heat that we have all been experiencing made me head down to the basement this afternoon to start sifting through some of the stuff down there. It’s a hell of a lot cooler down there than anywhere else in the house. A lot of stuff from the garage and my old computer room had been moved into the basement temporarily while we had our offices and new storage space built. Well, the offices are done and no new baby barn is being built so it was time to do a little sifting. In doing so, I had to decide on what to do with a few things. For example…

My desk used to be covered in South Park. I have since decided that all of the SP plushies are going up for sale on eBay. I’ll work on those later. My GI Joe style phone is also going. It never really worked as well as I would have liked and it hasn’t been hooked up in a very long time. Also, my Midlife Crisis painting that Jason did for me years ago is being packed away as I would love to hang it up, but it doesn’t really work in my new office space, and I could hang it in the basement but unfortunately it’s got some crude language on it that’s just not kid appropriate. The basement is afterall going to become their play area.

In going through some of this stuff, I guess I realized that in some ways, as Tamara puts it, I have outgrown some of it. As I was staring at some of the remaining stuff, I looked over at Bob and he was standing where he’s been for the last 4 years: beside the fish tank. I took a long look at him and looked at Tamara and said, “I think it’s time for Bob to go”. I then spent the next 20 minutes or so dismantling what is perhaps a very iconic figure from my youth. Underneath the clothes, I found the original coat hangers me and J.C. used to build him, along with several sweaters and shirts which I believe belonged to Jason. I also found my hot dog and Bud Light slippers that were used to make his legs. I smiled as I cut the string and tape that had held him together for the last 20 years. When it was all done, I had a pile of clothes on the floor, and the remains of a lamp with coat hanger wire everywhere.

I took Bob’s head, along with his eyes, and placed them into a rubbermaid container which has a lot of my “memory” stuff. There was no way I was going to throw that out. As I closed the lid, a part of me felt very sad. After all this time, I really have outgrown even Bob.

For those uninitiated, you can read the entire story of what Bob was here. To make a long story short, he was a rec-room decoration made from an old lamp, wire coat hangers, and leftover clothes. More of a mascot for the rec room than anything. I’ve had him since 1988-1989ish and he’s travelled with me back and forth from college, and has seen his share of changes over the years. He’s a leftover from a time when things were much less stressful, and more care free. I suspect this is why I held onto him for as long as I have.

See, it’s funny. People hang on to the strangest of things for no apparent reason. A t-shirt, hat, blanket, watch, shoes, rabbit’s tail, set of keys, car, whatever. Everyone out there has had some sort of attachment to an inanimate “thing” and no one but you can really understand why it is that you’ve kept it around. I believe that ultimately it comes from the fact that this item, whatever it may be, has either seen you through some major event in your life, or simply helps to remind of you of something special or important from your past. Maybe it represents an important lesson you learned along the way. Whatever the reason, we all hold onto these things until we are ready to let go. I don’t have a huge attachment to this “thing” called Bob, but I do have a huge attachment to the memories and experiences I had that were in some way associated with this “thing”.

Regardless, when you’ve had something around for 20 years and then you get rid of it, you do tend to think a bit about it. I implore any of you who have had great memories of Bob’s Room, or Bob himself, to share them and smile. I know I will.

Here’s a couple of FYI’s about Bob

• Bob mysteriously develops a “bulge” in his pants shortly after meeting Tamara & Valerie for the first time. Me and J.C. never could figure it out.
• I believe the most amount of people we ever fit in Bob’s room was about 30.
• Bob is definitely a voyeur as he’s watched his share of people have sex in my basement room
• Bob got fit with panty hose to hold his legs and waist together for my wedding reception in 2005
• My step-father Tiny, a man of very few words, even referred to my basement room as Bob’s Room
• Bob has sat on the front porch through many a Halloween
• Bob nearly had a “mate” created for him in the late 90’s called Bobette
• Bob’s favorite food was Dorito’s