I quote you from a comment she made on my status on Facebook:
See, it’s always nice when you happen to get the difficult ones first, then when the ones who are easy to deal with come along, you really appreciate it :/
Today I had another hard day. In fact, I think both me and Tamara had a hard day with Megan. It’s been a little frustrating. Some of what I am about to say may sound very mean but I am getting something off my chest in writing as I always do.
The fact is, since Megan’s birth, she has been a crier. I didn’t remember all of the crying and fussing Dylan did because I was at work. Tamara kept telling me that Dylan did all of the same things and I kept thinking if he had, I would have never agreed to have another kid. She also said that over time, it would get better. Well, in some ways it has and in other ways it has gotten a bit worse.
See, Megan cries a lot. I used to think she was colic but based on what I have read and now know, she’s not that. Sometimes the crying is normal. You know when she needs fed, changed, tired, etc. But then there’s what we see a lot of. Cranky crying. She basically can only sit or lay or whatever in a single position for no more than about 10-15 minutes. You can pretty much guarantee that if you put her in the car and she was crying beforehand, she’ll be crying the whole time you drive. When she does go to sleep during the day, she sleeps for 20-30 minutes tops, then wakes up and then the crying starts.
Now, it’s not non-stop. From what I know of colic, that’s complete and total inconsolable crying for hours upon hours. She stops depending on how you hold her or how you interact but it doesn’t last. After awhile, the crying gets to me. In fact, most of the time I have a VERY hard time just blocking it out. If there was something I could do to HELP her it would be one thing, but when she cries for the sake of crying, it gets to me.
The second piece of the puzzle is that she pukes, a LOT. Not spit up. Puke. She has full on throw up about 20 times a day and that is not an exaggeration. Within a couple of hours this morning she had already thrown up (milky chunk throw up, not just liquid) about five times. This causes endless frustrations with me and Tamara because you can’t put any clothes on her because within minutes it seems, she pukes all over it. She also seems to make sure that she holds onto her puke until she’s been put in her carseat. At first it was funny but when it happens pretty much everytime, it gets old. That combined with the crying in the car, would YOU want to put her in a carseat and go for a drive?
All of this happening most of the time drains the energy out of both me and Tamara. We relish the time when she finally goes to sleep which is one thing she seems to be doing well. When she goes to bed, she’s pretty much in bed for the night. She might squawk once during the night but she is pretty much sleeping through now. That’s the other oddity about the puking. She doesn’t do it on her last feeding before bedtime and if she eats during the night, there’s no puking.
This has made it VERY difficult to actually enjoy any of the good moments we get with her when they do happen. When she’s constantly crying there are horrible thoughts that go through your mind that you can’t even imagine that you would be thinking. You just want the crying to stop. It’s only the fact that deep down inside somewhere you know that she’s just a baby, and that at some point in time, it will get better.
I love my daughter, and I will do anything I can to help her, but I am not enjoying any of the time I am having with her right now. When you get 100 pounds of aggravation and one ounce of joy, it is very difficult to see any good at all. I am not a pessimistic person and I see joy in many things but when the crying seems like it is going on forever, I don’t experience any joy. I have had times where we’d be in the car and I am just SO tempted to tell Tamara to stop the car so I can get out and not be anywhere near the “screaming kid”. I have my hand on the door ready to say it but I don’t. I don’t because then I would be giving up and passing the burden on to Tamara. By burden I mean the burden of dealing with the crying alone. We’re both the parents of Megan and we both will take care of her. If that means I have to spend another 6 months going through this, then so be it. I may not have any sanity left but I’ll still be here.
I can take some comfort in the stories I hear from other parents. Just today I heard one about how this one woman’s son cried and cried and cried and the only way to shut him up was to put him in his carseat and swing it. She did that for 9 months. Countless other parents say they have gone through the same thing with their kids. Knowing that others go through the same thing does make it easier to just bite my tongue and be patient. It does not however help in heated moments which is why at least me and Tamara know when we need to step away for a moment. Thankfully, we’re both pretty understanding with each other about it and it seems to have worked well.
So for what Kelly said, I think in some respects where Dylan was a bit easier, it has made going through this with Megan a bit harder. Dylan had his moments and he would cry too but it was nowhere near this bad.
For now, I’ll continue to hold, play, smile, and enjoy the moments I do get with Megan because they do happen and when they happen and relish in them. I’ll be doing my best to remember that it will get better. She’s 8 months away from her first birthday and I can’t imagine this will last that long 
Pulled from MegansWorld.ca. Read the original post here
