Men compared to Women

Posted by on November 24, 2009

Tamara sent me this. I thought it was SO true.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

    • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,  Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

    • When the bill  arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only  for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually  admit they want change back.
    • When the girls  get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

    • A man will pay  $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    • A woman will  pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

    • A man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a  bar of soap, and a towel ..
    • The average  number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be  able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

    • A woman has the  last word in any argument.
    • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

    • A woman worries  about the future until she gets a husband.
    • A man never  worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

    • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

    • A woman marries  a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
    • A man marries a  woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

    • A woman will  dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the  phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    • A man will  dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

    • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

    • Ah, children. A  woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and  romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and  dreams.
    • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

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