She doesn’t drive me crazy anymore

Posted by on October 1, 2010

She’s actually quite a nice kid now.

Alright, here’s something I am going to say that I am sure other parents out there have thought and perhaps said as well. I did not like my daughter for the first six months she was alive. Maybe even longer. In fact, in a big way, I didn’t want her around, to be near her, or have much to do with her at all because to me, she was a royal pain in the ass.

That sounds like a horrible thing to say doesn’t it?

For the six months that I was off work to “be at home” with Tamara and the new baby, it was a very long and dreadful time. It was not fun. She cried a LOT. And by a lot I mean almost constantly. I wouldn’t say she was colicky but it was pretty damn close. One time after another after another of constantly dealing with the crying. Why would you want to be around that?

Add to that the horrid feeling of thinking to yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling this way because this is your daughter. She’s your flesh and blood and you should love her because she’s part of the family now. I can’t tell you how often I felt so horrible about myself about how I felt. I mean, I’m a good person and a good dad so how is it I could feel like this?

Fortunately, time passed, she started to sprout up, and now, she is one hell of a fun and cool little girl.

Not only has her vocabulary grown considerably, she’s developed quite a feisty little  personality. She’s way more feisty than her brother is, and although she is somewhat sensitive, she’s a funny little girl.

I find myself talking a lot to her more, playing with her, picking her up, and most of the time now I am the one giving her her bath and putting her to bed. I even play guitar with her (using her leg as the guitar’s neck and her belly as where I would strum) and she LAUGHS and laughs and laughs.

Let me tell you, there is nothing more magical than the sound of your child laughing to something you are doing with them. It’s contagious and amazing.

It’s awesome to finally be able to enjoy being around my daughter. Yes, there are days when she (and her brother) drive both me and Tamara crazy, but at least those days of constant crying seem to be behind us.

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