Well here we are. Another year gone by and another year started. 2011 has begun and let me tell you, the time off was WELL deserved and enjoyed. For the first time in a VERY long time, I actually did as little as possible. I think there was at least three to four days of sitting around doing absolutely nothing other than watching TV in bed and vegging out. It was some of the MOST relaxing and restful time I have had in ages. I definitely feel rejuvenated for the new year.
I took a look back in my blog to find what I posted at the start of last year and at this time last year I was publishing my first book, Gut Theory. Well, I did manage to get it out there (even if it was self-published) and although I have sold very few it is still nice to say that I got a book out there. Anyone wanna buy a copy? I have a bunch at home gathering dust 🙂
Aside from that, the last month or so has seen a lot of things sort of happen for me. Not so much anything that you would see, but more just stuff going on inside my head. I think that Faith No More trip had an even larger impact on me than I could have ever realized. I don’t know if it will result in me making any actual changes but it certainly feels like I am on the verge of change. It started with the concert but then more came when I spent those few days in Boston.
I don’t remember which Christmas it was, but Tamara had bought me the book “The Secret” which is all about the Law of Attraction and how you are like a magnet and you attract everything into your life whether you realize it or not. The book is actually based on a movie of the same name (how’s that for a switch) and has been met with it’s own controversy due to the movie’s premise. Regardless, I got an iTunes gift card for my birthday so I “bought” the movie on iTunes and watched it while in Boston. The movie made the book make a hell of a lot more sense and since then, I have begin trying out my own experiments with the “secret” and have had a bit of success. I’m currently on test number three of four and we’ll have to see how it turns out, but if the pattern continues, I do believe I will be using some of this newfound knowledge to help myself out.
After I got back from Boston, I really started realizing that I have lost a lot of joy in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not miserable or anything. But going to that concert in Hollywood reminded me so much of a time in my life where I was really happy with almost everything. I had the most fun and the most enjoyment out of the 90’s and as that decade ended, it seemed like things got a hell of a lot more serious. Now a lot of things contributed to that (new job, new wife, new city, new life really) but it sort of seemed that the real “joy” of life, the real thrill and love of what I was doing had gone missing and replaced with the day to day responsibilities of life.
That’s where I started thinking that maybe it’s all normal. I mean, when you think about it, as that decade ended, I moved out of mom’s, got married, moved to Poughkeepsie, started my “real” career, and it’s been rolling on since then. I’ve changed jobs, cities, and even wives since then, so was that really a turning point in my life where I “had” to go from being the person I was to the person I am now? Is it the passage of time and the aging of a person that takes some of this joy away?
I suppose in some cases it does since I was a hell of a lot more free with less responsibility in those days, but at the same time, I refuse to believe that just because you get older and become a parent, and have a career, a mortgage, and debt, that it means you have to give up the joy in your life. I’m sure that some, hell even myself, might argue that there’s a sort of trade off. You have kids which takes away some of your freedom but also gives you great joy in being a parent and experiencing the thrills of seeing your children grow up. It’s a completely different kind of joy but still good. Hell, I experienced some of that last night when Dylan braved the power failure in the dark. Made me so proud of the little guy.
So with realizing that even at the age of 37, I can still find that joy in things I do, I have started to wonder what else I can do in my life to try and make things more enjoyable, and better for myself, my family, and the people around me. That’s kind of where this whole Law of Attraction / Secret thing seems to be coming into play. In many ways, it actually does go somewhat along with the ideas I postulate in Gut Theory so for me, it kind of does make sense. I just find myself hesitant to “jump” right into this sort of thing as I am a pretty rational guy and much of what’s suggested in The Secret is not rational, logical, or scientific. I mean hell, I’ll believe just about anything whether it be ghosts, aliens, or whatever, but the idea that your own thought and actions can actually manifest the things you want? That seems to be a bit of a stretch. Yet, of the two tests I have done thus far, both have yielded exactly what I wanted so it really does make me wonder. Even if the other tests fail, 50/50 chances of something working are pretty good odds and probably worth looking into.
So with that said, I think 2011 is going to be a year of change. I feel like this is a year where big things will happen. It’s the start of a new decade and the last time a new decade started, I quit IBM and moved back to Moncton, both of which were huge changes for me at the time. I don’t see me moving, or quitting my job anytime soon, but I do feel like change is on the horizon and I just need to find a way to make it happen. Â Let’s see what the year brings…
